


Burning Love (Oh god that title is so bad)

by Munchingpotatoes123



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: AU, Afterlife, Based off of a comic, Heaven, Hell, Hell palaces yeaa, Implied/Referenced Suicide, In Hell there are only flip phones, M/M, Miu is best god I will F IGHT YOU, Miu is god, Oma is the devil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-12 09:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12956286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Munchingpotatoes123/pseuds/Munchingpotatoes123
Summary: Non-despair AU woohoo.Saihara realizes that his life sucks ass, his job is traumatizing and he's drifting farther and farther away from friends who he once had good connections with. So, due to past experiences, he decides that living in a giant palace in Hell with Satan himself, Kokichi Ouma, would be a good change of pace. Only problem is, is he willing to give up his well-established life for something as dangerous and risky as this? Considering this is a Saiouma fic, Hell yeah (pun very much intended).





	1. Chapter 1

It was a very interesting day for one Shuichi Saihara, well, maybe interesting wouldn’t be the right word. It started normally, Saihara stretched out of bed, the weak early rays of the sun peeked through his windows, waking him up for another day of detective work. Saihara sighed, his dark, messy hair shining and his eyes groggy and unfocused.  
As Saihara got ready for the day, he noticed the television tuned to the news channel, with the lady on-screen rambling about the weather. According to her, there was going to be a heavy blizzard, one that hasn’t been this strong in a decade.   
Saihara, taking extra precaution, put on his dark coat and braved the cold outside. One step outside, and he noticed sheets of pearly snow lining the ground like bed sheets, gleaming in the winter sun, shining and shimmering. The scene was calm, not a snowflake was hanging in the air, and Saihara felt like falling asleep on the bed of snow, half-expecting it to be warm and cozy like his bed.  
With a gentle huff that shown in the nipping air, Saihara walked towards his car, keys in hand. “Heh, blizzard my ass,” he breathed to no one, his words, again, showed in the cold air.

20 minutes into his drive and Saihara regretted not staying at home and watching T.V. Snow cascaded horizontally across the road, blanketing Saihara’s vision in a coat of dark. As his windshield wipers were busy trying to scrape off snow and ice, Saihara could feel the cold bleed through his thick jacket and through his skin, slowly but surely his car had gotten colder. Shivering, Saihara moved to turn up the heating before he realized the heating had broken five minutes ago.  
As he tried to navigate through the windstorm, unable to focus on the shrieking wind and a dry, chapped tongue. Saihara decided that it would be a good idea to pull over and wait the storm out. However, unknown to him, the road had a thin sheet of ice decorated on it, causing his car to lose traction and swerve off of control, straight into a stop sign.  
What came next was inky-black darkness.

~~  
Saihara blinked, clearing the fog from his eyes, trying to recall what happened, before remembering the crash into the street sign. With his memory recalled, he expected to see wreckage littering the ground and to hear sirens cutting through the shrieking wind. What he didn’t expect was to see baby blue skies, with lazy, fluffy clouds surfing through the sky.   
Saihara sat up, confused and scared, as the memories of the awful blizzard and crash came back in haunting detail. “Hello hello! Are you awake yet?” Saihara heard a peppy voice call, slashing through the deafening silence. Saihara turned his head and, to his amazement, found the face of a young girl staring back at him. Her eyes crystalline blue and her hair white as snow, tied into two ponytails that hung from her shoulders. What was most interesting about this girl was the halo floating perfectly above her head, and her two wings akin to an eagle’s tied to her back.  
Saihara flinched back, using his arms for support as he scooted as far back as he could. “Oooh, you’re finally awake! My name is Angie Yonaga, and guess what? You just died! Isn’t that just so cool?” Angie’s voice was laced with a heavy, foreign accent Saihara couldn’t recognize, but, in an instant, what she had said hit him like a judge’s gavel.  
“Wait, what do you mean I’m dead?” Saihara asked, his controlled voice teetering on the edge of turning desperate. “Oh, don’t be so scared, it happens to everyone! Anyway, I’m your guardian angel, and I’m the one that determines whether you go to heaven or hell! Are you ready for judgment?” Before Saihara could answer, Angie took out a clipboard and pen from her yellow coat.  
Angie tapped the back of the pen on her lip as she scanned the clipboard like an accountant. “Let’s see here...you didn’t commit any murders or major crimes, so that’s good. No drug or alcohol abuse...ooh! Dispensing justice like a madman! Look at all those bad guys you sent to jail! Yep, congratulations Mr. Saihara, you’re going to-” Angie paused before Saihara could feel a wave of satisfaction rush through his body.  
“I’m going to heaven, I assume?” Saihara drawled and Angie released a sharp “tsk”. “Got a comment from the boss here, apparently, you’d be the perfect candidate for Ouma...sorry, you’re a good man, but boss’s orders.”  
Saihara’s face fell and he broke out into a painful sweat. “Wait, what do you mean...by Ouma…?” Angie took out a red button from her yellow jacket. “For a detective, you’re kind of dull.” Saihara’s eyes blanched and his body shivered as if he was back in the blizzard. “Byeee-onara~” Angie called out playfully, before pushing the button.   
A hole formed under Saihara’s legs and he fell, and fell, and fell, past inky darkness. The wind screamed in his ears as he rushed down, his black suit flapping and whipping as he descended into darkness. Saihara closed his eyes, tiny silver beads pricked the corner of his eyes and flew into the wind, forever to be forgotten.  
He was going to hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story is a lot of fun to write also you're not getting any chapter summaries m8

Saihara fell on his back with a hard thump, his body aching from the impact and the air knocked out of his lungs. The first thing Saihara felt was the oppressive heat, turning his body hot and clammy in an instant, but not burning him. Looking around, Saihara saw rivers of fire with tortured souls, their hands grasping for freedom, writhing in agony. Pillars of lava fell from the sky, which was pitch-dark and endless.   
Screaming and pleads for help rang through the air, making Saihara’s stomach churn and tumble, alongside it was the smell of burnt corpses and smoke, a smell Saihara had sadly smelt before. Saihara covered his nose with his pale hand and shut his eyes, but the screams and calls for help rang in his mind like an obnoxious phone ring.  
From behind Saihara, unbeknownst to him, a wall of flames rose from the ground and disappeared like a show drape, revealing a tiny man with short purple hair in a white suit. “Boo!” The man tapped Saihara’s shoulders lightly and Saihara flinched, releasing a tiny, girly scream before turning around.  
“Sup, Satan here, big celebrity around here, also known as Kokichi. So, what brings ya to Hell? Rape? Murder? Did ya slaughter an entire family and eat them? Oooh, let me guess, live surgery? Give me all the details!” Kokichi’s eyes lit up, like an excited child, and Saihara couldn’t help but take an uncomfortable step backwards.  
“Um, no, my guardian angel said something about boss’s orders? She said I did nothing to deserve ending up here…” Saihara spoke slowly, his eyes glazing over every crevice of Hell, inspecting it only made Saihara’s face fall into slow despair.  
Kokichi’s eyes lost their sparkle and his body slumped in disappointment, quickly morphing into anger. “Are you serious? That bitch!” Kokichi pulled out a primitive flip-phone from his pocket and dialled a three-digit number, leaving a confused Saihara behind his trail.  
~~  
A woman with straight blonde hair and large, round, squishy goggles sat alone at a desk made of clouds with perfect blue skies above her. The woman toyed with a pen in her hand, her eyes blank in idle boredom before the phone on her desk rang obnoxiously.  
The woman picked the phone up in an instant. “Nyello, God here, how may I help you?” Her voice was as peppy as Angie’s, maybe more. “What the actual fuck, Miu?” She heard who’s voice it was and her face drooped in disappointment.   
“Hey, don’t swear out the boss, I can do whatever the fuck I want to you.”  
“Oh no, I’m so scared, what’re you gonna do? Send me to Hell?”   
Mui pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.  
“What do you want ya little shit? Don’t ya know that being God makes you busy?” She lied.   
“What the fuck are you sending this innocent guy to Hell for?!”  
“I don’t know, I thought you’d be a good couple.”  
Kokichi growled through the phone.  
“If I’m gonna torture people, at least let me torture people who deserve it!”  
“Ugh, fine, give me Saihara.”  
Kokichi thrusted the phone onto Saihara’s hands, and mouthed the word “speak” to him. Saihara reluctantly put the phone up to his ear, noticing that it, too, was clammy and moist.  
“Sup Saihara, yeah, it’s me God here, I hope you don’t mind that I sent you to Hell and all, it’s just that my friend Kokichi is still a gay virgin and needs help comin’ out the closet ya’ know?” Miu said, checking her nails as she spoke. Saihara stood, speechless, his mouth hung wide open for Kokichi to laugh at.   
“So...no complaints, I’m about to hang up if you don’t say something...ok, guess I-”  
“W-wait! I...I didn’t agree to this! I...I wanna go home!” Saihara spoke up, his voice tiny and strangled. “Ughh, you people and your “rights”. Well, problem is, I can’t revive the dead, I only do that for pranks, but right now...well, your body’s still undiscovered...fine. I’ll give you the choice, go back or stay here?”   
Saihara’s feet sprung to life. “I wanna go back home! Of course!” He yelled into the phone. “Alright, but remember, you always have the choice to come back here when you do die.” Saihara felt like jumping for joy, for the first time today, a smile stretched along his face and his eyes didn’t look like he was staring at death’s face. Miu hung up, and with a snap, Saihara’s world went black once again. When he opened them, he was cold, really cold, and in pain.   
Looking down, Saihara saw his car, broken and unusable, and he felt a singing pain, unlike that he’s ever experienced before, take over his head, as if it was being crushed between two strong hands. Saihara screamed, his throat felt oddly raw and tender, and held his head in between his hands, applying as much pressure to it to numb the pain. It wasn’t long before he saw to headlights show through the blizzard, heading towards him in what he hoped was a rescue.  
~~  
It wasn’t until Saihara was in a hospital bed, in a room that stunk of disinfectant, that he wondered if everything he experienced was dream. How ridiculous was it for everything that had happened to have been real? Saihara had tried telling himself that it was all just delusional fantasy, yet something about how terrifyingly real it felt kept him from achieving that mind-set.  
A knock of his door interrupted Shuichi’s thought process, and let him know that his best friend, Kaede Akamatsu, had entered his room for her daily visit. “Hey, Shuichi, are you feeling better?” She said in her usual, soft golden tone. Saihara couldn’t help but smile when she talked.  
“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking...about things…” He trailed off, his eyes sliding towards the window once more. “I hope you’re doing better, I bought you a flower,” Kaede said as she placed a single rose on Saihara’s lap, her movements dainty and graceful.  
“Hey...Kaede...Do you believe in God and Satan and the like?” Saihara asked, his question seemingly out of the blue. “Um...not really, I mean, my family is really religious, but I never got into that stuff. I slept through almost every visit to church, so I guess I’m agnostic? Or does that make me an atheist?” Kaede answered. “Why are you asking me?”  
Shuichi huffed. “I had this dream that I was sent to Hell and, and it just felt so real I couldn’t help but wonder…” Kaede released a tiny giggle at Shuichi’s concerns. “Well, I’m sure that it was all just a dream, you should get some rest.” Kaede ruffled Shuchi’s hair, having him release a low, almost whispery complaint. “See ya later, and I’m sure that it was just a dream, there’s nothing to worry about,” Kaede said as she closed the hospital door, leaving a lonely, conflicted Shuichi behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff's finally happening yey

It only took a couple of weeks for Saihara to realise that his life...wasn’t the most exciting. Every day, he was forced to do a job he hated, being a detective, and inspecting gross and horrific murder scenes for long periods of time affected a man. There were days where he couldn’t sleep, because the images of mutilated bodies and the taste of burnt human flesh and the memories of crying and grieving family members losing their sanity haunted him at night.   
To add salt to the wound, his friends in high school have all found love and moved on with their lives, most have gotten married, and some even had kids. Only exception was Kaede, but even then she’s finding love and has been slowly losing contact with Shuichi.   
Saihara always looks at himself in the mirror and asks himself; “Why doesn’t anyone love me?” Not ‘why can’t I find love?’ or ‘what do people find unattractive about me?’. Saihara felt like he was back in highschool, alone and insecure without love. He thought he had jumped over that hurdle, but if it’s just going to bite back harder and harder, then what’s the point?  
Saihara wanted nothing to do with his life, he wanted to start a new one without memory of lost friends or the trauma and hardships of detective work. That’s when he remembered his near-death experience and his talk with Kaede at the hospital, what if that wasn’t all a dream? What if...he could live with Satan in a cool-ass palace, away from his life, forever? It seemed farfetched, but it was Saihara’s only choice of a new life.

~~  
Saihara wasn’t religious, at all, and he most definitely not an idiot. So of course, he could make out signs from Miu whenever they appeared. It started subtle, with a strange influx of Nike ads telling him to “Just Do It”. It seemed silly at first, but when those were literally the only ads he ever saw, something was definitely up. Secondly, it was the increase of churches dedicated to Satan, which was an interesting coincidence.  
It wasn’t until God decided to throw away all subtlety and spell out “Just Go To Hell You’ll Be Fine -Miu” with a biplane right above his house did Saihara become convinced that it wasn’t just a dream, and that it had actually happened. Every last bit. 

~~  
Saihara’s eyelids felt heavy when he heaved them open, and even then the world looked cloudy and distorted. It was only when his vision cleared did he see familiar cloudy-blue skies. Turning his head, Saihara saw Angie’s cute face looking back at him, her blue eyes swimming with curiosity.  
“What...what brings you back here, Mr. Saihara?” She asked, squatting down to me Saihara’s eye level. “God gave me a second chance after she deemed it unfair that I didn’t get to choose. I died again and...guess I’m here,” Saihara answered and Angie stood up and looked at the sky in thought.  
“Hmm...usually she does that only for pranks, and the majority of the time she kills them right afterwards. That’s very curious Mr. Saihara,” Angie said, swaying her body side-to-side as she talked. “Alright then, Heaven or Hell, what will it be?”   
Saihara didn’t answer right away, instead he hesitated. “Um...a couple questions first. If I pick Hell, will I get to live in a giant palace? Like how God promised last time?” He asked and, before Angie could get another word out, a puff of cloud sprung out from the ground, blocking both Angie and Saihara’s vision in a misty veil.  
The cloud of cloud quickly split in half before dissipating, revealing Miu in her full glory , posing as her hair sparkled in the sun like golden bars Saihara sat stunned while Angie clapped politely at her entrance.  
In a second, Miu had teleported behind Saihara and she slung her arm around Saihara’s shoulder, Saihara noted that Miu’s appearance, while very loud, was surprisingly frail and skinny, considering this was God.  
“Hey, Saihara, ol’ buddy ol’ pal. How’s it hanging? Don’t answer, I already know. Anyway, I’m sure you have a lot of questions, but I’ll answer ‘em for you,” Miu said before clearing her throat. “So, I’m sorta forcing Kokichi to make you live in the palace, and it’s the only place in Hell that doesn’t smell like death and has air conditioning. You won’t get burned, whipped, lashed, or hurt in any way, and the worst thing you have to deal with at your stay is realizing you died and threw your life away because you refused to make it better. Sound good?”  
Saihara paused, letting the information sink in and having the gravity of the situation finally weigh him down. “Um...one last thing, why are you this...figure? If you’re God, doesn’t that mean you get to be whatever you want? So why...that?”   
Miu released a tired, whiny groan. “If I had a penny every time someone asked me that I’d be richer than Bill Gates, and that’s not an exaggeration either. Look, just ask Ouma if you’re so fucking curious, k?” Saihara pursed his lips in uncomfortable silence before Miu slapped her hands together and rubbed them in anticipation, an ironically devilish smile growing on her face.  
“Shall we get this show on the road?” Her voice fluctuated in cartoonish villainy before she snapped her fingers, knocking Saihara out cold, the next time he woke up he’d be in Hell’s Palace.

~~

Saihara started getting tired of blacking out and waking up in new locations, but this time, once he cleared his vision he noticed that he was on a bed that wasn’t his own. The bed was a royal purple hue and the feeling of it’s cool velvet on his skin made him want to fall asleep.  
Looking around, Saihara noticed that this room looked like it was ripped straight out of a Disney movie. Beautiful porcelain desks and chairs that were polished white and pure, alongside twisting silvers and golds made this room feel...expensive. The floor and ceiling were a plush red-velvet, like the sweetest of cake. A mirror hung above a desk was as clear as a crisp, spring lake.   
One look of the mirror and Shuichi noticed his messy, oily hair sticking up all over the place, and his filthy suit complimenting that classic hobo look. Saihara noticed that his skin looked paler than ever, almost as pale as the cold desk he laid his hands on, and his jawline had been more defined than usual, although that was most likely to lack of food, since he hadn’t eaten much during his crisis.  
“So, you finally awake, princess?” Shuichi heard a squeaky voice call out to him from the doorway, interrupting his little investigation. Turning around, Shuichi saw exactly who he expected to see, Kokichi in his full, 5” glory. Again, Shuichi wondered why such malevolent, all-power forces took the form of such wimpy humans.  
“Just looking around, I guess,” Shuichi answered. Shuichi felt his stomach coil as he gripped it, slightly cringing. “Guess I haven’t eaten in awhile, mind showing me where the kitchen is?” He asked with an innocent smile on his face. “Sure, follow me and don’t get lost,” Kokichi answered as he lead Saihara past the far-too-big doorway.  
Saihara couldn’t help but gawk at the interior of the Palace. The whole place was made of a stone-like grey marble, and it stretched and grabbed so far into the sky it looked like it never ended, leaving nothing but charcoal blackness thousands of feet into the air.  
The hallways could easily fit an entire army, tanks and missiles and all, into it. A plush-red carpet laced with gold at the edges extended to infinity. Doors identical to his lined the wall throughout their journey, and stairs still blanketed in carpet littered the place.  
As Shuichi and Kokichi paced through the miles of hallway in a seemingly endless loop, Saihara could see many mutants and deformed beasts with far-too-small wings and horns and sharp tails float merriy through the halls, with chains wrapped around their ankles and wrists. Saihara assumed they were minions, as they greeted Kokichi with a friendly hello. What horrified Saihara the most was that some of these servants were humans, and some were a lot less happy and a lot more starved.  
Saihara tried to look away once they passed, but the look of desperation and pain in their eyes alongside their sunken faces and visible ribs was an atrocity Saihara couldn’t tear his eyes away from, like a brutal car crash. Saihara’s thoughts were ripped out of his head when he smelt fresh meat, causing his dry mouth to water and his stomach to gurgle.  
Kokichi reached two giant boreal doors large enough to fit a spaceship through, pushing them open with ease, blasting Saihara in the face with the smell of food and the sound of generic cafeteria chatter. Instantly, Saihara ran through the cafeteria, finding mile-long tables, every inch of them covered with some platter or dish. Most of them were meat, yet Saihara saw veggie platters, fruit baskets, and some desserts.  
Before Saihara could get to eating, Kokichi placed his hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his food-induced trance. “I know, right? I have all my slaves make these for me and bring em out, so expect having a meal like this for all eternity,” Kokichi boasted. Saihara hurriedly sat down and piled as much food as he could on a golden platter, his mouth watering more than it has ever before.  
Kokichi sat parallel to him, enjoying a meal of his own, but not actually eating anything, instead inspecting Saihara with a fiery look that burned into his skin. Uneasy, Saihara slowed down on eating and gave Kokichi a worried look. “You ok? Uh...you’re kind of making me uncomfortable…” Saihara complained and Kokichi blinked, his eyes returning to their normal look. “My bad, force of habit, ya know? Usually, when Miu sends guys over here to try and “win me over” or whatever, they’re usually dictators, or genociders, or just terrible people in general,” Kokichi explained.  
The first thing that came to Saihara’s mind he decided to blurt out. “Did she try and get you together with Hitler?” As soon as Saihara finished speaking, Kokichi broke into clamorous laughter Saihara couldn’t help but think was cute. “Unfortunately, yes, I still can’t help but laugh at his dumb moustache. God, what was he thinking?”   
Kokichi’s infectious laughter caused Saihara to smile. “It is a little silly…” He said, trailing off. “Hey, Kokichi, who were some other people Miu tried to get you to be with?” Saihara asked and Kokichi’s laughing trailed to an end. “Um...Mussolini, Columbine school shooter guy, Osama Bin Laden, honestly just the worst people,” Kokichi explained, causing a chill to run down Saihara’s spine, as if someone was dragging ice over his back.  
“Ya know what happened to all those people?” Kokichi asked rhetorically, suddenly shooting Saihara a disturbing look that bore into his eyes. “I made them my slaves, they deserved it.” Kokichi’s voice was a fake, sickeningly sweet tone. Saihara’s body tensed, his eyes alert, suddenly he didn’t think that living in Hell was a good idea.  
A heavy air of awkwardness hung for just a couple of seconds before Kokichi broke into chuckles. “You should’ve seen your face, it was a lie!” He said, and Saihara slowly relaxed his shoulders, yet he wasn’t fully convinced it was the truth. “Well, half a lie.”  
Saihara looked down at his platter, suddenly losing his appetite. “Oh, don’t be such a stick in the mud, at least be happy you’re living in the lap of luxury.” Kokichi was suddenly annoyed at him, but Saihara didn’t seem to care.   
Quickly deciding to switch the subject, Kokichi asked, “So, why’d you come back to Hell, when you could’ve lived in Heaven?” Saihara thought. “That’s...a good question…” Kokichi raised an eyebrow. “Are you actually serious?”  
“I don’t know, I didn’t think I had a choice…”  
“You’re such a fucking idiot.”  
“So far, it doesn’t seem so bad…”   
“You could’ve lived in Heaven! Are you serious?!”  
“...”  
Kokichi groaned, massaging his temples. “Whatever, I’m going to my throne, you can sleep in any room, they’re all the same and no one sleeps in them anyway,” Kokichi said, standing up, leaving a troubled Saihara behind.

~~

After Saihara crashed onto the purple-velvet bed, which was exactly like the one in the room he woke up in, he quickly found himself falling asleep, his mind in a conflicted, troubled mess.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding time!!!

Saihara didn’t know what to do or where to go after he woke up. The whole castle felt too large, and the demons and starved slaves walking around occupying it didn’t make Saihara feel like exploring either. However, the room had pretty much nothing to offer, only pretty desks and a pretty mirror.   
Maybe I can ask Kokichi for a change of clothes...Saihara thought after taking only a glance in the mirror. His clothes mangled and covered in dust, his nails longer with little bits of dirt jammed into them, and his hair reached his shoulders comfortably. Saihara wondered how he could’ve gotten so different in just a day.  
Saihara hesitated when placing his hand on the frigid door knob, wondering if the demons wandering around would give him trouble, when with a spurt of braveness and re assurance, he opened the door to a blast of cool, crisp air whipping his face.  
Miu wasn’t kidding when she said that there’d be air conditioning here Saihara thought with the tips of his fingers cold and hidden in his palm; the cold air, not sweet but not bitter, nipped at his skin.   
Almost immediately a purple, mangled demon approached Saihara, it’s tiny wings barely keeping it’s comically-overweight body up. “Excuse me...do you know where the throne room is?” Saihara asked with oblivious fear bleeding out of his voice.  
“Right next to the cafeteria,” The demon said, his own voice surprisingly clear and human, but somehow that was more disturbing than if he had a distorted voice. A chill rippled through Saihara’s body; he blamed it on the air conditioning.  
Good thing for Saihara his sleeping room was right next to the Cafeteria, and a couple doors to the left of the cafeteria stood two boreal doors stretching to the heavens (heh get it?). On the boreal doors the words “Boss’s Room” was inscripted in cursive gold.  
Saihara hesitated before knocking the door, who knows what Kokichi could be doing? Maybe he was torturing people, or he could be doing something as equally disturbing. With another burst of courage, he knocked three times, expecting the doors to be violently whipped open.  
Nothing, no one answered the door. Saihara knocked again, and again, and again and nothing happened. Saihara froze, panicking a little, he was stuck in a place he didn’t recognize, with monsters twice his size eying him with menace in their eyes.  
Deciding that invading Satan’s privacy was a better choice than being eaten by a giant monster, Saihara burst into the room, the reverberating boom of the doors loud enough to shake the entire castle.  
Saihara closed the doors in a panic, his heart-rate sped up and his eyes flitting across the room for any sign of danger. Who knew that Satan was...really childish.  
Saihara felt relaxed when he saw kid’s toys littering the floor, including Legos and plush toys. The ceiling was finally visible, if barely, revealing glow-in-the-dark star stickers dotting it. The throne itself was regal, if simple and generic. Besides that, everything was unexpectedly innocent and fun.  
Saihara felt a burst of warmth cutting through the cold pop up behind him. “Hey, hey! What gives?!” He heard Kokichi shout, causing him to turn around, still with a bright smile on his smile. “Well...I just woke up and decided to pay you a visit for a change of clothes, but...I didn’t expect your room to be this cute!” Saihara’s smile faltered a bit while he spoke, turning just a hair nervous, but his bright eyes remained.  
“If you wanted a change of clothes, you coulda just called my name, ya know?” Ouma said, annoyed. “Also, Jesus Christ, you look fucking terrible. Well, I guess that’s sorta expected when you’ve been sleeping for three human days.”   
Saihara’s smile collapsed, and he felt an invisible hand punch his gut as it coiled in pain and hunger, nearly sending him to the ground in shock.   
“W-What the Hell?!-”  
“Heh.”   
“How come I didn’t wake up?!”  
“You’re in Hell, there’s no way your body knows when to wake up so it just kinda...does sometimes. Either that or you never wake up, like, ever.”  
Saihara’s face twisted in horror.   
“Then...how come I still feel hunger? And pain?”  
“Anything that’s painful goes here, it’s sorta like it’s Hell or something.”  
Saihara felt like crying and he collapsed onto the floor, his stomach burning in an intense whine for food. Kokichi rolled his eyes. “Whatever, drama queen, I’ll get you your food.” And with a snap he was gone.   
He was only gone for a second, but to Saihara it felt like centuries, and maybe it was. Coiled in the fetus position, alone and cold, it made him feel pathetic.  
Kokichi returned with a heavy drumstick, and Saihara snagged it before biting into it and tearing it apart like a feral animal. In minutes the food was devoured, and Saihara could get back up on his feet to meet eye-to-eye with an irritated yet bored Kokichi.  
“I’m...sorry, you had to...uh-”  
“Don’t worry about it, I see shit like this happen all the time.”  
Saihara gulped.  
“Oh yeah, you still look like shit, let me fix that for you.”  
Saihara was almost getting tired with all the cool shit people could do with the snap of a finger. His suit was perfectly ironed and clean, his hair combed and snipped, his fingernails perfectly manicured, and his face clean from dirt and food.   
“Thanks…” Saihara said, twisting his body and inspecting every aspect of it. “Hey, Kokichi, since you’re Satan and all, how come your room is so precious?” Saihara asked, a tiny smile growing on his face.  
Thankfully, Kokichi didn’t seem to mind that question. “Well, when you’re Satan, you kind of have to torture a lot of people and hear them scream and beg for mercy. Eventually you get so used to it it doesn’t affect you. But when I first started out, I needed a little ounce of childhood innocence to get me through,” He answered.  
“That was 2 quadrillion years ago, and now I’m just too lazy to clean it up.” Saihara paced around the room, slowly inspecting every item, and being brought back to a simpler time in his life.  
Absentmindedly, Saihara sat behind a colourful set of Legos, and connected a block to another with a satisfying snap. Kokichi looked at him with a quirked eyebrow. “Uh...whatcha doing?”   
“I don’t know, I just remember playing with Legos when I was really young. It’s nice to remember the past sometimes, ya’ know?”  
“God, I’ll never understand you humans and your nostalgia,” Kokichi said, despite that he sat next to Saihara, shoulder-to-shoulder, and started working on his own project.  
“It’s almost like you’re a quadrillion-year-old deity or something,” Saihara said, emulating Kokichi’s sass. Kokichi could feel Saihara’s breath warm the air, and Saihara could feel Kokichi’s warmer glow iron his body. The moment almost felt intimate.  
Kokichi smirked his signature cheeky smirk. “Not bad...for a mortal,” Kokichi released a tiny chuckle at his wording. “You know, I had this guy in the palace one time. His name was Gundham, and he was...really freakin weird.” Saihara paused to glance at Kokichi.  
“He acted like he was from a 10-year-old’s edgy fanfiction. “Mortal” this and “Hellhound” that. He tried to act like he was some sort of magician or alchemist or some shit. It was really funny at first, but I had to kick him out because everyone was complaining about him,” Kokichi rambled, his mind not at all focused on what he was creating.  
Saihara released a tiny laugh. “I had a friend like that in middle school; I don’t remember her name, but she always wanted to be a mage. She was obsessed with Harry Potter and her weird witch phase continued throughout high school,” He blathered. “I lost contact with her after she got out of her magic phase and found a girlfriend though…” Saihara trailed off at the end, he deflated and his eyes became duller.  
Putting down an orange block alongside his smile, Kokichi wondered what was up. “Remember any bad memories?” He assumed and Saihara found just enough strength to nod. “Yeah...it was my adult life before I came here...all my friends from high school found love and moved on with their lives, while I just stayed in my edgy phase. I didn’t have any luck with love, or friends, and I didn’t even enjoy my job as a detective. It felt like I was on a treadmill while everyone else ran a marathon…” Saihara said, sullen and somber.  
“Ah, classic mid-life crisis I see,” Kokichi said and Saihara looked offended. “Hey, I’m only 28, I’m not that old!” He shouted and Kokichi released a tiny giggle  
“I’m guessing that’s why you chose Hell over Heaven? It’s cuz you wanted to live in a cool ass palace with Satan, isn’t it?”   
“Yeah, it is. But I guess admitting it would’ve been a little weird for me…”  
“Oh thank goodness, I swear if it was because of some dumb shit like ‘I thought you looked cute’ I would’ve blown a gasket.”  
“That’s sounds like something from a dumb romance novel written by a 15 year old girl who’s never actually been in a relationship.”  
“It does, doesn’t it?”  
Somewhere, up in the skies, Miu was laughing her ass off.  
Saihara felt energized for the first time in...however many days he’s been here. Kokichi noticed this too and smiled an infectious, ear-splitting smile. Saihara thought that this was the first time he’s seen Kokichi express genuine happiness.  
Saihara picked up his orange block that he previously dropped on the floor and connected it to Kokichi’s project, accidentally brushing his hand with his in the process. Kokichi exaggerated a look of appaledness. “What the Hell Saihara! Don’t ruin my building with your peasant hands!” Kokichi said in a snooty tone.  
Saihara laughed a little before placing a neon-green block on top of the orange one. Kokichi gasped in horror. Instead of speaking, he retaliated with a red block on top of Saihara’s tower. And thus a competition was held.  
Both boys raced to see what were the most garish, obnoxious colours and patterns they could use to ruin the other’s building first. Unfortunately, Kokichi won when Saihara ended up bumping the tall tower a little too hard and it fell to the ground in pieces.  
Kokichi mocked him, and Saihara punched his shoulder in light amusement. “Ya’ know, people think just because you’re grown up, or mature, or Satan that you can’t have fun with Legos.” Saihara couldn’t agree more, and maybe that was what was missing in his previous life, a little childhood fun.  
“Hm, maybe Miu finally grew a brain and sent me someone who’s actually a half-decent person,” Kokichi said as Saihara missed his implication by a mile.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to write sad things, pretty sure I failed

It was as normal a day as it could be, considering this was Hell. Saihara was browsing through a selection of delectable foods, his dizzy hand had a mind of its own when it came to selecting food on an empty stomach. It wasn’t until his plate was filled to the brim with a variety of meats and fruits did he see something that almost made his body go limp.

A glimpse of a purple skirt lined with music bars, a head of sunshine hair, long and straightened and a pink backpack. From the corner of his eyes, he could swear he saw Kaede. But in a second she was gone, Saihara didn’t know if she walked around a corner, or had simply popped out of existence, she just disappeared.

Saihara’s body locked in place and a shiver skittered up-and-down his back. What if that was Kaede? Why and how did she end up here? Saihara decided to find out and he gently placed his plate of food down on the table and sprinted along the waxed floors. “Kaede!” He called but none answered. It was when he turned the corner did his balance give in and he slid straight into a luckily-hornless demon, crashing into the floor with a gentle *whap*.

The demon scoffed, seemingly unphased as it continued on its way. A group of nearby ghouls had set eyes on Saihara, and he could feel their judgments press down on his chest for just a second before eyes were averted and judgments were forgotten. Saihara’s head flitted across the cafeteria, only demons and no Kaede. 

Saihara stood up, careful not to slip, and buried his hands in his suit pockets while tilting his head downwards to avoid some demon’s flitting glances. His face was warmed with slight embarrassment before turning pale once more. Was that actually Kaede? Or maybe Saihara was just seeing things. Saihara thought it was the latter, and continued out the door, his mind crammed with thoughts and his appetite lost.

~~

The sky was painted with heavy rain clouds that were ready to pop any second. The air smelled of old rain and Kaede’s tongue was chapped and heavy in her mouth. Her eyes swam with melancholic regret as they sat, pinned onto the grey atmosphere and muted trees. Kaede’s chin drilled into her tucked legs as she sat on wet grass and mud that bled through her skirt to the point where Kaede could feel a wet cold graze her thighs.

Kaede heard shoes squishing through wet mud approach her, but she didn’t bother to turn her head towards who she knew was Rantarou Amami. “C’mon Kaede, it’s going to rain soon,” Rantarou said, his warm yet pressing voice was deep and balming, helping Kaede break her iron stare and have her eyes sweep over to meet Rantarou’s shoes.

“...” Kaede didn’t reply or move as she saw Rantarou sit down next to her, his gangly body pressed up against hers, helping her keep warm in the brisk night wind. “...You couldn’t have done anything, you know,” Rantarou said, cutting through the thick atmosphere and triggering Kaede to tilt her head up to meet his gentle gaze.

“...I know, but I don’t know why he didn’t tell me or anyone else,” Kaede spoke, her soft motherly tone replaced with frigid regret as she moved her head onto Rantarou’s shoulders. A rant built up in her throat. “I mean, we knew each other as kids, did he not trust me? Did he not think I could handle it? Did...should I have done something for him?” Kaede started to tear up, her voice became tighter and more strangled as she spoke.

“That’s not your fault though, maybe he felt like no one could help so he didn’t bother.” Kaede’s eyes twinkled with tears, and one-after-another they slid down her cheek, unbeknownst to Kaede herself. “That makes it worse! I just...if I had just helped him, or reached out to him, if I was just a better friend, he could still be alive! I know it’s not my fault but...it sure feels like it is.” Kaede’s voice crescendoed and she was torn apart by the hem.

Her shoulders shook as she nuzzled her head into Rantarou’s shoulder, muffled sobs were the only sounds that filled the air as the world stopped at her command, the trees kept quiet and the wind paused to let her continue, or maybe that’s just what felt like. Kaede’s sobs slowly became frantic, they bled with despair and she lost what little scrap of self-control she had left.

Rantarou ran his fingers atop Kaede’s hair, his fingers motherly, stroking her velvety head as she bore her soul out to him, naked and cold, letting Rantarou witness her at her breaking point. Kaede tried to say something, but whatever she said was lost in a maze of sorrow and was quickly shushed by Rantarou, letting her continue her anguish.

The storm that brewed in Kaede’s soul was calmed to nothing more than a lonely cloud, her sobs trailed off into silent shivers and her face, alongside Rantarou’s short sleeve, was caked in ugly tears. Kaede wiped her cheek with the back of her hand and Rantarou wiped off the opposite cheek with his thumb. 

“I-I’m sorry you had to see that, I just...miss him, a lot,” Kaede’s voice lost it’s frigid tone and had become warmer in contrast. “You shouldn’t apologize for expressing yourself, Kaede, and it’s alright. We’ve all needed a moment to let our emotions out.” Kaede couldn’t help but grow a tiny smile with Rantarou’s words. “Maybe...that’s what Saihara needed.” Before either of them could contemplate her words, Kaede stood up and dusted grass of the back of her skirt and thighs, Rantarou trailed behind her.

“Let’s go inside, it’s about to rain soon,” Kaede said as a single raindrop tapped her nose. Both of them walked past the slippery field, with Kaede taking the lead, her hand wrapped around Rantarou’s more calloused, yet somehow gentler, one. 

~~

It didn’t take a genius to see that Saihara felt, and looked, like shit. He had holed himself up in his room, wrapped up in two blankets yet he still shivered. Kokichi sprouted up beside Saihara’s bed, Saihara knew it was him when a burst of warmth filled the room. “Ya know, Saihara, it’s been awhile since you’ve kept yourself in here, what’s up?” Saihara rolled to meet Kokich’s slightly-worried face. 

Saihara sighed. “A while ago I thought I saw Kaede and- uh...Kaede was a childhood friend of mine. Anyway, I thought I saw Kaede in the cafeteria, but she wasn’t there. Now I can’t help but think of how miserable she probably is with me going. She was the only one who visited me whenever I got sent to the hospital, and she felt like both a friend and a mother to me,” Saihara explained, he glanced at Kokichi to make sure he was listening, and he was, very intently.

“Thinking that she might be depressed because of me tears me apart…” Saihara tightened his grip on the blanket, Kokichi stared, unblinking. “Well...you’re already here, so I don’t know what else you can do. Besides, staying in bed all the time isn’t exactly making your stay here any better,” Kokichi started. “You made your bed, now sleep in it...well, not literally, but you get the point.”

Saihara couldn’t help but crack a tiny smile as he skinned the bed sheet away from his body. “You’re right, but I can’t help but feel a little bad for what I could’ve done to her...just because I was selfish and wanted a better life for myself,” Saihara said, his eyes still looked distanced and disconnected, contrasting his tiny smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple things:
> 
> 1\. I'll start updating once a week, all the time, most likely on Saturdays or Sundays.
> 
> 2\. The Saiede in this fic is completely platonic I swear.
> 
> 3\. Constructive criticism is very welcomed and encouraged, I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing.
> 
> Have fun :D

Saihara and Kokichi were sitting parallel to each other, both of them enjoying their own meals, when Saihara asked a question that seemed as if it was out of the blue. “I wonder how my mom is doing nowadays, I hadn’t called her in years…” Kokichi paused before he could bite down on the food on his fork and flicked his attention to Saihara.

Kokichi didn’t say a thing as he dropped his fork, Saihara had lost his appetite rather quickly and did nothing but stare at his food. “Like I said, you’re already here, so what’s the use in angsting over it?” Kokichi broke the silence, but Saihara’s eyes hadn’t shifted in their darkness, Kokichi groaned. “Are you even listening?” 

Saihara nodded slowly, but Kokichi was still unconvinced. “When I died, Miu told me something that...that had finally set in,” Saihara started and Kokichi felt like walking up to the pearly gates and giving Miu a large, well-deserved smack to the face. Then again, he’d felt that way about the titular Goddess ever since he was damned here.

“She said something like ‘you’re going to realize you threw your life away for something you could’ve controlled’, I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like if I stayed alive and fixed my relationship with friends,” Saihara said, he poured his heart out in his speech and his voice reflected his internal struggle.

Before Kokichi could know how to react, Saihara stood up, leaving his dinner to get cold before making his way to the nearest room and crashing in the sweet, cold velvet covers. Kokichi simply sighed before getting up to his own throne room to devise a plan

~~

“So, what do you want in return?” Miu asked, standing like a proud statue, towering over poor 5 foot Kokichi. “Can’t you just give me the dumb mirror?” He asked and Miu burst into her signature peals of laughter. “Nope, I may be all-powerful, but I still wanna fuck with you.” If she wasn’t God Kokichi would’ve broken all her bones thousands of years ago.

“Alright, take all this shit in my room, now will you give me the dumb mirror?” Kokichi asked, his face hot with anger. Miu scanned her eyes across the room, inspecting every aspect of it. “...Alright, sure,why the fuck not?” Miu dug into her leather bag* and pulled out a hand mirror, the outlining made up of swirling silver that was nearly transparent if it wasn’t shining.

As Miu swiftly collected all the toys littering Kokichi’s room, he continued to inspect every inch of the mirror, noticing all the rubies and sapphires embedded into the silver border, alongside a golden hilt that almost made it look tacky. Miu snapped her fingers in front of Kokichi’s face, forcing him to flick into attention. “Thanks for all the Legos, see ya later fuckboi,” Miu said as she disappeared in a puff of sparkling cloud.

Kokichi fanned the clouds away furiously, he knew he couldn’t touch Miu and she knew it too, so he instead settled for punching the air where she once was. Kokichi gazed down at the mirror that didn’t held his reflection, and then swept his eyes across the throne room. All the toys were gone, the ceiling remained starless and the collapsed tower of legos where he and Saihara once played was gone.

The throne room felt empty and lifeless, it was kind of depressing.  
~~

Saihara noticed that Kokichi was absent for a little while now, which made him confused. Kokichi was almost always around Saihara, badgering him and just messing around. Concerned, Saihara made his way to Kokichi’s throne room, he was no longer scared of all the demons floating around the castle, so that was cool.

Pushing the doors open, Saihara scanned the room in confusion, all the toys that once littered the place like a man-child who’s been stuck in the 90’s’s cave were gone. Saihara flit his eyes back and forth the room in confusion, weren’t they just playing with legos the other day? 

His excavation was interrupted when Kokichi teleported in front of him, startling Saihara and nearly sending him to the ground. “Kokichi? What’s up with your room? Why’s it so...desolate?” Saihara asked, his eyes still traveling around the room. Kokichi smiled his usual devilish smile.

“I sold all of them!”  
“Sold them? For what?”  
“For this.”  
Kokichi took out the mirror he bought from Miu and handed it to Saihara. Saihara looked down at the mirror, and then up at Kokichi in confusion. “You...sold all your stuff for a mirror?” Kokichi shook his head. “You see that little ruby at the top, yeah, press on that like it’s a button.”

Saihara took the mirror with both his hands, afraid of potentially breaking such a precious-looking artifact, and pressed down on the cold, polished ruby. The mirror’s screen went from showing his reflection, to turning inky black. “...Kokichi what is this?” However Saihara didn’t get a straight answer, instead Kokichi cleared his throat.

“Kaede Akamatsu.”  
Nothing was happening on the mirror and Kokichi could feel his body burn in white-hot nervousness. He was beginning to sweat.  
“Uh, Kaede Akamatsu,” Kokichi squeaked, his voice much more strained, that burning sensation intensified and bled into his voice.

Luckily enough, Saihara could catch the gist of what Kokichi was trying to do. “Kaede Akamatsu,” Saihara said this time, his voice crisp and clear, and the mirror faded into life. Saihara almost dropped the mirror and his jaw sagged, in front of him was his best friend practicing piano in her room. Saihara could feel nostalgia punch his gut at the song she was playing.

Kaede was playing a song she used to play to Saihara when they were in highschool, Claude Debussy's Clair de Lune, Saihara could feel tears well up in his eyes, and he could even see them tap on the mirror like little raindrops, obscuring the vision. “K-Kaede! Kaede can you hear me?!” Saihara yelled, but Kaede continued playing unflinchingly.

“You can’t communicate with her, you can only see what she’s doing,” Kokichi said and silence sweeped over them once more, the only noise was the crisp, perfect melody of Kaede’s song. Saihara squeezed the mirror so hard that his knuckles turned pale and his arms trembled, he wished he could jump into the mirror and be next to Kaede once more. 

A splash of memories resurfaced in Saihara’s brain, and he remembered the weekends in high school where he visited Kaede’s house.

~~ oh boy a flashback

Saihara dropped his bag on the floor, next to Kaede’s pink one, and had sat shoulder-to-shoulder next to her on the polished piano bench.  
“Alright, should we get started?” She asked, her voice peppier than before and dripping with contained excitement, Saihara nodded, his hat angeled over his eyes.  
“Yeah, let’s get started.”   
The lesson went by fairly well, with Kaede guiding him through each note with infinite care and patience, the only person getting frustrated was Saihara with himself after missing multiple rather obvious notes, Kaede simply giggled.

While Saihara was in the middle of butchering a song, Kaede had swiped his hat off of his head, causing him to pause mid-song and blink. “Kaede! Give that back!” Saihara said as Kaede held it over her head and out of reach, a smile radiating sunshine on her face. 

Kaede tossed the hat behind her head and it landed right on Saihara’s backpack. “That dumb hat is making it harder for you to play, c’mon, try playing again,” She sad, Saihara couldn’t help but at least try thanks to her antics.

And she was right indeed, despite the fact that Saihara was terribly off-melody and off-tempo, he had gotten through the song with all the correct notes, causing Kaede to give him a tiny round of applause and another sweet smile, Saihara couldn’t help but for once be proud of himself after a session of piano as his once-signature hat lay abandoned on his backpack.

~~

Saihara was still looking down at the mirror- no- at Kaede, he was unmoving except for a slight tremble in his body, in front of him Kokichi waited patiently as all of Saihara’s memories of him and Kaede washed over him like a cold shower.

Without provocation, Saihara flung his arms around Kokichi’s neck and he buried his face in Kokichi’s scarf, surprised, Kokichi was almost thrown off balance as he stumbled backwards. “Woah, hey, watch out!” Kokichi said yet his pleas landed on deaf ears. Saihara was whispering a string of ‘thank yous’ that were almost inaudible over the building crescendo of the song’s climax.

Once the song had ended, Kaede had paused, and shut the lid of her piano before moving to get her backpack, the only sound now was the rustle of fabric and Saihara’s sniffling. Kokichi didn’t know what to do as he slowly pat Saihara’s back. Saihara peeled away from Kokichi’s body and wiped his tear-stained cheek with the back of his hand.

“You don’t know how much this means to me, Kokichi, to be able to see my family and friends and how they’re doing...even if it is bitter-sweet,” Saihara said as a genuine smile, not unlike Kaede’s sunshine ones, formed on Kokichi’s pale face. “No problem, just remember not to indulge in the past too much, nothing good comes out of being stuck in the rut of nostalgia.”

Saihara couldn’t help but give Kokichi another tight hug, and this time Kokichi hugged back. “...You know, if I was human, this would really hurt,” Kokichi said and Saihara apologetically pushed away from Kokichi, his eyes transfixed on the mirror as he said a final ‘thank you’ and went out the grand door to his own room.  
Suddenly, the throne room didn’t feel so empty anymore, and Kokichi was able to sit down in comfort in his own throne. A strange feeling burst in Kokichi’s gut, a feeling that made him want to cry but at the same time made him happy as he reminisced about his old, toy-filled room.

“I wonder if I’m feeling...nostalgic.” That was it, that was the feeling of nostalgia, yet there was something else, hidden in layers and layers of weird, sticky remembrance, something bright and vibrant.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have nO FUCKING CLUE HOW TO WRITE ROMANTIC SCENES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Saihara began feeling...something after Kokichi handed him the mirror. It started one day when he was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder to Kokichi as they were talking about things Saiahra couldn’t focus on. All Saihara could think about was his heart beating at an uncomfortably rapid pace, it distracted him how much it pounded in his ears, muffling Kokichi’s voice.

The next thing was the feeling of Kokichi’s body pressed up against his, normally that wouldn’t be a problem, but instead, there was a hint of electricity, a spark that caused his brain to malfunction and his stomach to fumble with excitement. A spark that made his body sweaty and fidgety, it was something unnatural.

“Saihara...Saihara...SAIHARA!” Kokichi yelled, snapping Saihara out of the haze his mind was stuck in. Saihara’s eyes flicked with light and he turned to Kokichi. “Ah- sorry, Kokichi, I think I’m a little sick…” Saihara said as he stood up and moved out of the throne room, yet every step made him want to turn back to Kokichi. “You can’t get sick in Hell but whatever, go ahead,” Kokichi chimed in his usual sarcastic tone.

Saihara collapsed in the nearest bed, his heart still pounding on his chest. His mind once more became hazy, even his thoughts went muffled over his roaring heart as a sticky sweat licked his body. That’s when Saihara realized, an epiphany that sent his heart screaming. “Oh my God, I’m gay for Satan.” Saihara could only stare at the top of his canopy in shock.

Before his heart could beat another time, Kokichi appeared in his room in a familiar plume of smoke and fire. Saihara couldn’t look Kokichi in the eyes without his stomach crumpling into a twist of emotions that he absolutely needed more of. Right now was the absolute worst time for Kokichi to appear.

“Alright, what’s up? You’ve been acting weird all day and I know it’s not because you’re sick.” Saihara's face steamed at Kokichis voice, which was crisp yet demanding, he couldn’t believe he was acting like a girl going through puberty. Saihara spoke, still flitting his eyes all over the room at anywhere but Kokichi, “Um...I don’t really know…” Saihara’s voice was pressed as if someone was strangling it.

“That’s a lie,” Kokichi said dismissively, Saihara curled up and turned away from him, his head felt like it was being baked alive from the heat, despite the crisp cold air of the room. “Uh...I- uh…” Saihara stuttered and crunched his eyes shut, he couldn’t stand the mere thought of Kokichi, let alone his presence.

Kokichi seemed to catch on very quickly. “Oooh, Saihara do you liiiike me?” He drawled out every word in a teasing fashion, causing Saihara to feel a white-hot flare burn the back of his neck in what was either embarrassment or shame...or both. He couldn’t stand the heat anymore and he felt like he was going to burn to a crisp.

Saihara remembered that he was going to be stuck in here forever, so there was nothing he could possibly lose. In a strange burst of courage, he sat up to face Kokichi’s smug face, his own nervous yet determined and swooped in for what was supposed to be a kiss. The kiss that was supposed to make his roaring heart finally shut up and his stomach erupt in euphoria.

Instead, he overshot, causing him to face-plant straight into the carpet anti-climatically. Strangely enough, Saihara seemed to find his new home on the floor comforting as Kokichi erupted into peals of laughter. Saihara buried his face further into the ground as he could feel the white-hot humiliation burn his nerves and seep into his bones.

Kokichi picked Saihara off the floor, a wide grin stretching across his face as he pecked Saihara’s lips with his own and another surge of electricity shook Saiharas core. “Is that what you meant to do?” Kokichi asked. Saihara didn’t answer but instead threw himself onto Kokichi, sweeping him off his feet with a vice hug. Kokichis smile all but collapsed into nervousness. “H-Hey! What gives?!” Kokichi tried to sound offended, but it failed almost as much as Saihara’s attempt at a kiss.

Saihara leaned his face onto Kokichis, their foreheads connecting as they shared each other's breaths. Saihara could feel his bones and muscles rustle in excitement, a rush of emotion clouded his mind, but this time in a good way. Saihara went in for another kiss, this one thankfully not landing him on the floor.

Kokichis lips were heated and tiny, a contrast to Saiharas more chapped yet gentler ones. Kokichis skin was soft and balmy, it made Saihara crave more of his warmth. Their little moment was interrupted by a flash of light, surprising Saihara enough that he dropped Kokichi with an ungraceful thud. He turned around to find Miu holding a vintage camera with a shit-eating grin lining her face.

“What the Hell?!” Saihara yelled, his face a steaming red. Miu burst into giggles as Kokichi heaved himself off the ground with an annoyed groan. “You should’ve seen your face, Saihara!” Miu laughed as the camera whirred and a tiny photograph was spat out. “Actually, you can, let me just wait for this picture to develop.” Saihara’s face quickly went from embarrassed to furious in mere seconds.  
Kokichi leaned into Saihara’s ear. “I know, right?” He whispered, his hot breath tickling Saihara’s nerves. “We were kind of having a moment,” Saihara said, yet Miu hadn’t stopped laughing. “Oh, I know. And you should thank me. I’m the one that kind of, sorta messed with your hormones a little to speed up the process.”

Before Saihara could comment on her intrusive acts, Miu waved the photograph she held in between her middle and pointer finger. “Anyway, gotta blast, you guys do your thing.” With a cheeky wink, Miu teleported away, leaving the photograph to wave back-and-forth through the air like a feather. Saihara collapsed onto the ground, leaning against the wall, Kokichi followed suit, sitting next to him with his shoulder pressed up against Saihara’s.

Wordlessly, Kokichis soft hand wrapped around Saiharas tougher one. Both of them looked into each other’s eyes, a wordless exchange, but one that spoke louder than any words could hope to match, that is, until Kokichi broke the silence.

“You know, when two people kiss, they create a really long tube with assholes at both ends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to wrap up the story since I have a ton of other projects I'm working on, so sorry if this seemed a bit rushed. Also, I usually plan out an outline for each story, but I didn't bother with this one, so that's probably why it was all over the place and the pacing was weird. I hope you enjoyed though! :)


End file.
